Iterative Excellence

Scott Hanselman has a poignant post about thanking those who helped you get to where you are now. It's so easy to forget to say thank you - so it was good to read Scott's story and think about who I might thank.

While I'm sure we all have have many appreciations of our own to give, I wanted to call out something just as important - How to properly receive appreciation from someone and just say "Thank you", or "Your Welcome".

Nancy Kline in “Time to Think” writes:

¨In exploring why so few people appreciate each other directly, I discovered the problem lies in people doing such a lousy job of receiving. Being appreciated increases your intelligence. It helps you to think better. So don’t utter a hissing “humph”… Those dismissive responses actually insult the person who paid you the compliment. And insults are a thinking inhibitor. Just say Thank You."

This is one of the messages I talked about at QCon London, where I also explored the relationship between Agile Development and Appreciative Inquiry. Too often we forget to practice saying thank you, as well as feeling comfortable saying your welcome.

Nancy also writes that "Lasting relationships exhibit a 5:1 ratio of appreciation to criticism".

I know I often struggle to balance the ratio in this direction. So just like Scott - maybe its time to practice redressing that balance - but also don't forget to practice receiving kind words as well...

Labels: Appreciative Inquiry, Retrospectives

# posted by Tim Mackinnon @ 11:40 PM